it was wrong to begin with. =(


was reading my post dated 24th nov '09
i guess.
i cannot be more than looking forward to a wonderful december '09.

every since the breakup....
nothing has gone well for me...

there's really nothing much to look forward to now, except to practising horn and like catching up with old friends...

just like ytd, i attended whitley's band bbq chalet. it was awesome to see all the kids happy around me.. and they were all very friendly and i find them innocent..=) it was good to be around them because you know, what they are showing are the true side of them..

coincidentally.. beside P06-costa sands(pasir ris) was the batch below me of atheletic boys from commonwealth..

and just opposite was Luther's chalet with his RP mates.
it was good, to catch up with luther. he offered to drive my friends and i to pasir ris mrt.
A rough ragged boy, to now, a gentleman. wonderful. i wonder what major incident happened in his life that he became such a gentleman >.<





i suddenly got reminded of him....

like christmas.. it was supposed to be a nicely planned festive season.. but, now.. i guess. it will not happen...
newyear.. was looking so much forward to countdown with you for the first time ever.. but, now.. even as friends.. i dont think so you would want to..
thats how sad my life is.

but, on a happier note..
i've learnt to be like you.
you've always taught me to be mature,
to look at things at the middle.
like a coin.


look who's the one not being friend, my dear.
its you.
i still feel upset over that matter.
i hope time will heal all wounds.


you made me think so much before we got tgt..
when we got tgt i felt everything was fine and all.
after we broke up.. you made me think much more......


but you know what?
i really still enjoy making music with the same bunch of you guys.
tt includes zq, ben, ed.
yea. really do enjoy...
i miss those times,
we could sit around a table, drinking. and talking non stop .
and even playing games..
those were, really the happiest days of my life with you all.



i miss the happy times.

How I feel

wish

I wish the person I love the most could just read my mind.

how i wished.

I wish I could turn back time. Back to the days when I will wake up and see a text message from him. Back to the days, when he'd call me in the middle of the night and end up talking up until sunrise. Back to the days when he repeats my name then tell me how much he loves me.

i tell you,
LINDA IS IN A SUPER DUPER FRIGGING BAD MOOD NOW.
let me tell you her story, and you will feel the same for her.
i think you all should pity her.



she had hfmd, which was a rather mild one like on monday after teaching a certain particular primary school. THANKS SO MUCH.
thought she would be cured in 2 days, she didnt tell anyone she was sick. (Y) wonderful.


she only realized that she got hfmd on wed, and the doctor confirmed it.
she hurried to text the boss about her condition and told him to find a replacement quick to perform.
-hurrah, a replacement has been found-


she hurried to tell another guy about the condition.
saying she cannot perform, but she will still be attending the function.
-guy tells her its okay, take a rest and stay at home-
she told him if she's fine by then, she'll be joining them for all the fun
-guy says okok, drink more water and rest well-


a day before
-hey, i'm fine alr, ill be going for .... blablablablablabla....-
5 MINS LATER
*calls me*
-errr. sorry, but really sorry. we thought you werent coming already.. so.. we gave up your seat at the dinner table to someone else.. uh. so we thought we would treat you and the group of friends another day for thanking you guys..-
HUR.
friends forever, really. thanks.
its okay not to have the extra dinner.
really.
bless you couple though.
im pissed with YOU, at how YOU do things.



is it me,
or im really just being unlucky these 2 weeks.
breakup,
all the nonsensical stuff of no communication during rehearsals.
sick
hfmd
replacement of players
and now this has to happen.

WONDERFUL.


Linda,
smile, because it happened.
=)

after all the unlucky ones, will come the good ones, darling.=D


its quite sad.




its okay i guess since ive got really other good friends around.
and i guess i need to re focus some areas of my life once again..

i'll prolly go mahjong/movie/shopping/chill out at idk where...
BLAH.
whatever!

(:

I WANNA BE YOUR FAVOURITE HELLO (:

and HARDEST GOODBYE =)

spell u-n-l-u-c-k-y

unlucky or lady luck on his side that he doesnt want me to be in the quartet?


feel like shit maximum now you know.
argh.
PIECE OF SHIT.

i swear it must be the damn Eb horn instrument i used at the damn pri school. freak.


why am i so damn weak.
i wanna get well ASAP

4th dec.

4th dec. i feel so ..................
its supposedly one month.
i wouldnt say im depressed.
but ive been surpressing too many things in my heart already.

sooner or later ill just really break down.


anyways,
i thank God ive got really good friends
all i had to ask was.
"shihhan, you later free?"
and then i had something to do already.

wonderful
he treated me to u.d.d.e.r.s ice cream which i felt was awesome because it was really sweet and i enjoyed eating while walking and talking to him. Catching up with him on the old times, and how he's doing in school now.. really nice..
its been long since ive had such feelings.
blessed and all.



but when im alone,
im back to the quiet, moody me.
which i feel like shit,
because of this shit.
because ive trusted you whole heartedly, hence im feeling the pain now..





dearest,

i believed you could give me a good life, you would treat me like a jewel, like a gem, you could change my life with the little things you do. Spend quality time with me during festive occasions and not only when im down and out. but, i guess im wrong after all these had happened. i'm not sad about all these anymore, and all the breakup and hoo-haa. im just u-p-s-e-t with the way you treat me now. im sure id be able to find a much nicer guy than you.

love you with all my heart,
i hope we can still be good friends.
linda.

love

"If a kiss were a raindrop, I’d send you showers. If hugs were a second, I’d send you hours. If smiles were water, I’d send you the sea. If love was a person, I’d send you me."

HURT

why arent you trying knowing that im making the effort to break the barrier already?
hurt.
really hurt by your actions and not by us breaking up.



time?
how much time do you need?



is it that difficult to be friends once again?
you're making me feel worst you know.



.
.
.

the big round moon.

while everybody is enjoying themselves....




im here being so upset.
never felt like this in my whole life.





and the only reason i feel like this
is because ive fallen deeply in love with you.

but i'm prepared to put all that aside and just be friends for now.
but you're not being friend towards me.
hence the hurt.
=(





the moon is really bright tonight.
its really nice with the breeze and just by looking at the moon,
its really pretty and i feel kinda relaxed.

uoh ssiw I
please read the upside down.

spell u-p-s-e-t

you really made me very upset this time round.
i know you dont want to go home with me.
till the extend you had to say you were gonna take bus back.
i'm seriously hurt.




i think im just plain dumb.
and i look like a total complete retarded crying on the train.




i bet you didnt care at all.


friends?
ya sure,
you were the one who said we should be friends for now.
who's the one being not friend at all.
i feel so ...............
its like, i gave my all and tried my very best to be cheerful and smiley during rehearsal and all already.
i told myself never to cry for you, but you just had to come up with such an excuse. and, it really did hurt me.


ive never felt so hurt in my whole entire life before besides grandma leaving us.
i guess this christmas and new year is nothing new to me anymore.
i was still looking forward to spend all these wonderful festive occasions with you.
but i think that its not possible even as friends.
since you dont even want to speak to me nor talk to me.





besides me being sad and all....
i think my sis is in love, cos recently she's been receiving many many gifts.
i hope that guy isnt like you, being a total jerk.
i hope he's really a nice guy to my sis.
and not like a total complete jerk.

happy?

happy 21st my dear cousin =D

HELLO GRANDPA!

hello world.

today's been a good day

i havent been thinking about anything till i came home,

turned on my com. and i saw my desktop pic.

sigh.

i thought i'd be strong over this..

but..

=(

sigh.

why are guys like that?

jerks.

i really miss you,

i really do..

i really really miss you.

yea...

love

"But sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, they just can’t love you back in the same way. Believe me. Living with someone who can’t love you back …is way lonelier than being alone."

-grey's anatomy

"I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.

Man:God, why did you make women so beautiful?
God:So you would love her.
Man:But God, why did you make her so dumb?

God:So she would love you.

what is love?

love cannot be defined by age, looks, race, religion isnt it?

Life is not easy. the harder you love, the harder you fall.

really do love you.

tired